The Insanity of Suzumiya Haruhi
by Anyu Matsuri
Summary: What would happen if Haruhi got berserk, altered everyone and leave Kyon the only human? One-shot with...slight yaoi!


I decided to write a one-shot about a world where Suzumiya Haruhi had prompted the end. This just came to mind this morning. And yes, everyone's got powers and stuff, except for Kyon. So he got Koizumi and Nagato protecting him. Asahina-san is with her future mates with the laser guns. I hope this does not appear funny or whatever, but this is rushed, so I'm sorry for some shallow scenes.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own TMoSH or any of its characters, Tanigawa Nagaru-sensei does.

**Warnings:**Mild violence, and a bit of ItsuKyon and YukiKyon.

**The Insanity of Suzumiya Haruhi**

The ground rumbled from the force the giant blobs of energy had left after pounding so hard on everything they see. These giant blobs are shapeless, but they grow hands or stuff for the purpose of destroying things. And as far as the war goes, I can see that the earth is at its end. And I am the only human left.

Everyone else is fighting for my sake.

"Kyon! Don't space out or I'll carry you in my arms like a princess!"

I was running towards my hiding place after getting supplies from the nearby convenience store. Koizumi was flying beside me as I was running away from the eyes of the energy blobs that were now roaming the whole earth. I answered back with a sour face to Koizumi who was still engulfed with a bright red light. He smiled sarcastically and flew off once again to aid his fellow espers. Nagato-san had been muttering incantations every time she gets near my place, which was for the continuous concealment of my hiding place. Haruhi had turned everyone into espers, time travelers and aliens in just one night, and luckily, I am the only one left with no powers endowed. Even animals such as Shamisen had been sent to fight Haruhi's increasing energy blobs that were obviously looking for me. For that I became a sheltered and protected human.

"Suzumiya Haruhi's excessive energy does not seem to stop flowing from her. Her ability to create things from nothing had been incredible, but the Integrated Data Sentient Entity had stopped believing in Suzumiya Haruhi's capability to become the answer to self-evolution. As such, many of my kind had been deployed to stop her, at all costs."

Nagato-san! When did you arrive at my hiding place? And how was everyone else?

"Koizumi Itsuki and the new espers such as Taniguchi and Kunikida had been fighting with an energy blob that appeared near the sanctuary. Asahina Mikuru and Tsuruya-san together with the other time travelers had been blasting other energy blobs to smithereens. My fellow aliens had been trying to locate Suzumiya Haruhi as of the moment. But as of now, Suzumiya Haruhi's location is still unknown. I guess it will be best if you stay hidden here for the meantime. I'll ask Koizumi Itsuki to stop fighting and stay here to protect you. With that, goodbye."

Nagato-san stood up almost immediately after finishing her very long talk. So Koizumi will be my personal bodyguard, huh? Can't she ask Asahina-san instead?

I was hiding inside the most suspicious place in the whole prefecture. I'm inside the SOS Brigade clubroom, curled up like a ball in the corner of the room. All the lights are closed and the heater's off, so I was only snuggling with all the blankets I had been given. Outside lots of light blasts and fireworks-like light kept appearing, casting different colors on the room. But I cannot look out. I cannot risk myself be seen. Nagato-san thought that if I was placed in a very obvious hiding place I would not risk being found by Haruhi. And only those closely connected to the Brigade knows where I am, except Haruhi.

How did Haruhi change, you ask? Even I don't know that myself. I was just mailing her earlier, when suddenly Koizumi came falling unto my window, shrouded in red light. But Koizumi cannot use his powers if he wasn't inside Closed Space, and I am not inside some Closed Space! But Koizumi told me what had happened, and immediately I was whisked off towards the clubroom. And here I was staying until now, except for the times I had to get food supplies from the convenience store downtown.

The events happening outside the room are being relayed to me by Nagato-san and Koizumi at every possible moment. Sometimes Nagato-san would talk to me with one of the laptops. But other than that, I was talking to no one else.

Asahina-san had only talked to me once, and as she explained things to me, I saw her slowly becoming transparent, before becoming solid once again. When I asked her what happened, she told me that due to the fact that Haruhi had changed a lot on this time plane, the future where Asahina-san had come from might not appear anymore. She told me that I cannot see her until everything is corrected. With only that, and a last cup of tea from her, she left the brigade room. Up until now the only people that had seen her are Nagato-san and Koizumi.

"Kyon? How are you coping here? Are you hungry?"

Koizumi had arrived at the room, his features darkened by the dark room, only to be illuminated by the flashes of light from the sky outside.

"I had eaten ramen just now. I'm not hungry."

"Then are you sleepy? You could sleep if you want to."

Koizumi sat beside me, the red light around him already gone. I made the move to wrap him with the blankets I had, as I know it was cold and what-else without them.

"Wow, you're awfully nice to me today. Is it alright for me to share the blanket with you?"

He looked at me with eyes that seemed to smile with his mouth. Angrily I shoved his face away, getting shy at his comment.

"If you don't want to then you can get out. I'll be more comfortable too if you do."

"Of course I don't want to get out now that it was you who offered me such warm blankets, on a cold night even! Now, stop talking. You should sleep."

"Whatever, I'm sleeping! I'm sleepy anyway. Die from lack of sleep, snotty fart."

As my head was on Koizumi's shoulder, I felt incredible warmth coming from his body. Thinking that such warmth does not exist normally, I instinctively placed my hand on his forehead, feeling for his temperature.

Oh, hot. So hot.

"Koizumi! You're sick?"

Koizumi grew surprised at my sudden outburst. He was playing Othello all alone before I suddenly felt for his forehead. But it might be my shouting that actually surprised him.

"Am I?" His left hand then went up to his forehead, his right to my own. As lights continue to flash outside, I was getting a glimpse of Koizumi. He was slightly flushed, his eyes looking tired. It must be that he didn't realize he was sick himself!

Wait; was this the reason why Nagato-san had sent Koizumi to watch over me, to be able to rest at the same time?

"Ah, you're right Kyon. It seems I was slightly sick."

"What do you mean _slightly__sick_? Did you not notice at all? Geez, you should be the one resting. Go on, sleep! And don't make excuses!"

"But how about you? Aren't I sent here to protect you?"

"Stupid. How can you protect me when you're **that** vulnerable? Just rest. I'll be okay. Nagato-san had protected this room with invisible force walls."

Koizumi placed his head on my shoulder, with one of his hands gripping my left sleeve tightly. He was breathing shallowly, which comes out in whitish smoke. The lights continued to flash outside the room, the Othello game Koizumi was playing with earlier left unfinished. I dared not sleep; Koizumi was mumbling in his sleep. After a few minutes, his eyelids fluttered open. He sat straight and tried to mop his sweaty forehead.

"Ah, it's getting colder."

Koizumi then trembled, even though he was already sweating badly. His fever did not go down; instead, it went up a few degrees more. The fever seems like it got unto his head too, as his voice grew sluggish and tipsy, like talking to a drunken person.

I took off his clothes when I noticed his sweat drying up. He seems surprised by that too, but he does not seem to mind as I dressed him once again with one of my clothes.

"Kyon, won't you get infected? If you do, many would get angry. After all, you were the remaining human in this world. Everyone else got altered into espers, time travelers, and aliens—"

"Stop talking." I ordered, my hand on top of his mouth, hindering him from speaking. Thinking about what happened in the world made me shudder. Everyone else got powers, aside from me. Even if there weren't any energy blobs, every single person would still get hurt. Once a person notices that they've got powers, who knows where they would use it to?

Koizumi continued to look at me with tired eyes, until I felt my hand being taken away from the warm mouth, to be replaced with my lips. Koizumi pulled me closer to him, my lips being opened forcefully by his own. After a while the two of us were gasping for air, but the kiss didn't end there. After noticing that Koizumi was already breathing normally, I pushed him to the floor and kissed him again, this time I put my tongue inside his mouth. He does not seem to be bothered about it as I felt his own tongue wrapping against my own. Sloppily I kissed him, slick sounds emanated from where our lips meet. It was only due to a cough that we pulled away from one another. Feeling altogether upset and embarrassed by being stopped by someone, the both of us looked up to see who the intruder was.

"…Wow Kyon, we never thought that you and Koizumi Itsuki will be down on the floor kissing each other with no decency. We never thought you're…"

The sentence wasn't finished. And as the lights flashed again outside the room, the faces of the intruders had begun to be known to me.

"Taniguchi! And Kunikida, you're also here!"

"Nagato Yuki-san is looking for the both of you. That means you too, Kyon. It seems like this hiding place is not safe anymore."

Slowly I and Koizumi stood from our positions, still feeling embarrassed after being seen. But there was nothing on that kiss, at all! We did not know what came into us. There were no feelings attached, Koizumi said so himself.

It took us so long just to get to 'sanctuary' as the energy blobs continued to increase every minute. Although the three people with me have powers, it was still not easy for us to remain unnoticed. So slowly we walked, and slyly we ran before we had reached the place where Nagato-san is waiting for us.

The 'sanctuary' is the park where Asahina-san had told me about her being a time-traveler. As I looked around I saw familiar faces, and some new faces that were curing wounds. But as my head was roaming around, I never saw Asahina-san or Tsuruya-san with the group.

"Kyon, I need to talk to you and to Koizumi Itsuki."

Nagato-san appeared behind us like some stealthy burglar. Although the four of us jumped from surprised I was still happy to see that Nagato-san still exists. But Nagato-san does not need wasting time as she summoned the two of us to accompany her.

"Kyon, did you kiss Koizumi Itsuki?"

Nagato-san's voice carried a twinge of irritation. Fumbling for an answer, I mumbled "Yes," my embarrassment concealed by the dark surroundings.

"Koizumi Itsuki, has your fever gone down?"

Seeing that the both of us forgot all about his fever, I went over and checked his temperature. And then I checked again. But it seems like Koizumi's fever had already disappeared.

"Your fever disappeared, right?"

"…Yes. But how?"

"It is because of—"

What the reason was we did not know. There was suddenly a loud crash coming from the direction of the 'sanctuary'. Upon noticing this, the three of us went running back, and upon arriving we saw about thirty energy blobs attacking the people, destroying and smashing everything inside the 'sanctuary'.

But they all stopped the moment we arrived. I gulped; I know the reason why they stopped. Slowly eyes started turning to my direction. And upon seeing me standing in the middle of an esper and an alien, they lunged for an attack. Nagato-san had managed to spike one to pieces before she was slapped away by one of the blobs. Koizumi turned once again in a red light, where he was joined by twenty other red lights into fighting some of the blobs, but they weren't enough to hold the blobs. Some started running towards me as they saw how defenseless I was.

I ran away from the band of blobs until I bumped into a person, which caused me to fall backwards. Rubbing my bottom which had suffered the worst impact, I looked up at the person whom I bumped into. My eyes widened in surprise, my voice seemed to have left my throat.

It was Haruhi.

She looked at me vacantly like she was a doll being controlled by someone else. She had backed away slowly though, for no apparent reason. This shocked me that I stood up and tried to get near her. But whenever I take a step forward, she would take two steps backward. Getting irritated by the second, I tried jumping unto her. Fortunately she was too surprised to move away and ended up being tackled by me.

"I caught you now. Why are you doing this? You should stop already!"

As I looked at Haruhi's eyes, I saw it rolling backwards, before she went limp on my arms.

"Haruhi? Hey! Wake up!"

A few moments later I was found by Nagato-san and the others.

**XxXxXxXxX**

"So it's the end?"

"Apparently, yes. Suzumiya Haruhi yielded after seeing you. Her powers got back to normal. Her memories are also devoid of all that happened this time. The other aliens are going around altering everyone's memories. They must not know about Suzumiya Haruhi's powers."

What about the future? Asahina-san hasn't still come back; even Tsuruya-san isn't in sight. Shamisen and the other cats are now wandering the place, feeling very important.

"I guess I do not need to answer that question anymore." Nagato-san said, before a familiar voice called out my name a few meters behind me.

Asahina-san appeared suddenly behind me, her long hair flowing with the wind. She was wearing a shiny silver body-hugging suit, and in her hands are water gun-looking lasers, like what you see in sci-fi movies. I almost forgot; Asahina-san is from the future.

"I'll leave you two for now. I'll check up on Koizumi Itsuki."

As soon as Nagato-san walked away Asahina-san hugged me tightly, her small figure trembling against me. After a few awkward seconds I wrapped one of my hands around her and pulled her closer, before she pulled away herself. Wiping away some stray tears that fell from her eyes she looked at me and smiled warmly. Seeing her smile is the same as hearing the choirs in heaven.

"I'm happy to see that you're back, Asahina-san."

"So am I. I, together with my fellow time-travelers, was almost lost between the gap of present and future. I'm so happy everything worked out."

"What really happened anyway?"

Asahina-san then turned serious. Putting her guns on their sheaths on her sides, she began her explanation.

"Suzumiya-san's sudden power outburst almost changed the future. You know all about other realities right? The future where I am included was almost erased for another future. That future is a place where everyone else is dead, except for you and Suzumiya-san. If she hadn't found you at the right place and at the right time, this outcome wouldn't have happened. But I'm happy you naturally ended this with this outcome. And, ah! Everything else was classified information. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. You've said enough. I think I've understand most of what happened."

Asahina-san smiled once again, before she was summoned by Tsuruya-san and was whisked away like some rag doll. It seems so peaceful.

Once again, a problem caused by Haruhi is mended. This time, it was due to everyone's help.

**END**

**Author****'****s****Notes:**I don't know how everything ended up so happily, and I don't know why Haruhi acted so strangely. I don't know what this story is about anyway! I was just on a roll and practically typed everything down. And what happened to the ending? Why does it look so refreshing and like it was taken out of a shoujo manga?

This is rated T, right? No! It became M and so ItsuKyon! Only that there are no feelings attached. And the YukiKyon did not appear. Instead, it was a bit of ItsuYuki! Damn, I got really messed up and I had not edited anything at all.

Oh yeah! The future is safe! Asahina-san is not disappearing! From all my TMoSH fan fictions I noticed the lack of Asahina Mikuru presence. It was always Kyon, Koizumi, Nagato, Haruhi, and Tsuruya-san. I'm happy she's got a whole paragraph of dialogue just for her.

Koizumi and Kyon did not end up with each other, okay? This is not a yaoi fiction, although I was turning it into one earlier. But I wanted to do one normal fiction, so I did this. However, one kissing scene happened. I just cannot stop my hand from typing it down! So in the end, the main characters here appeared to be Koizumi and Kyon, although it was really the whole SOS Brigade.

And it seems like Kyon is not perfectly human too! I made him into an unsuspecting cure to anything. Nagato noticed that earlier, so she sent the sick Koizumi to Kyon to test him. And it seems that she was right. She was the one who made the two kiss. Hint: incantations.

Anyway, what do you think? I think I'll be on hiatus. Classes are starting this week, and I'm 18 today! (finally…) Yay! I'm already 11 years loving yaoi! Wow, I didn't imagine that I'd last this long… By the way, my first pairing **ever** was Nakago and Tamahome. I saw them first when I was in first grade, with their kissing scene. I've been corrupted since then…

I don't think I can write purely clean fictions without the yaoi or anything showing. I'm already too corrupted.

I'm sorry; this is the worst story I've written, with no plot and anything. But I still hope I've given enough sentences to make up for the lack of plot. I'm seriously getting damned!

Read and review!


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